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Dr. Burkenstock's Funny Quotes

Well known for his sense of humor, Dr. Burkenstock loved to pass along little bits of Louisiana wisdom to his family and friends:

• Do you have a hitch in your get-along because you have an itch where it don’t belong? Try Dr. Burkenstock’s That Itch Stuff.

• My product is as safe as a flea on a two-legged dog.

• If you don’t treat that itch, you’ll end up meaner than a washtub full of rattlers.

• As Mama used to say, that itch is as stubborn as cypress stump in a Louisiana swamp.

• Ain’t nothing that a kiss from mama and my Itch Stuff cream can’t fix.

• After I treat what ails you, you’ll be as content as a gator sunnin’ on the river bank.

• Do ya’ feel like somethin’ chewed you up and spit ya’ out? Then give Dr. Burkenstock’s That Itch Stuff a try.

• Back in the day, we’d say he’s scratchin’ like a chicken in the dirt.

• If you don’t treat what ails you, then you’re denser than a bucket of syrup.

• Mama always said, you can’t fix an itch with a lick and a promise, but That Itch Stuff will do the trick.

• Don’t be the spittin’ image of misery. Sure ‘nuff, get yourself That Itch Stuff.

• Back in those days, the mosquitoes were as thick as a feather bed.

• Don’t split your britches when your leg itches!

• I roamed the swamps back when I was knee high to nothin’.

• Mama always said our family is as Cajun as fried alligator tail.

• Use That Itch Stuff and you’ll be smilin’ like an opossum eatin’ fish.

• That sun turned him redder than the devil in a Santa’s hat.

• Like my Daddy always said, those other salves are as useful as teeth on a turkey.

• That rash is bowed up like a Halloween cat.

• You have more whelps than a toad has warts.